Okay, fluoride in the water to help our teeth. Well, shouldn't that be the job of your mom and dad - Jesse Ventura

There was a time when the number 1 general public health concern was how white your teeth looked when you smiled. At least that’s what one would have believed after watching dozens of toothpaste television ads during the tail end of the twentieth century.

Yes sir, the thing that mattered most in your life back then was the whiteness of your teeth. Toothpaste commercials funded some of the most popular prime time sitcoms and reminded you that you would “wonder where the yellow went when you brushed your teeth with Pepsodent”. Little Johnny made his mother proud in the ubiquitous Crest ad showing him waving a report card and declaring loudly “Look Mom, no cavities!” Closeup toothpaste assured you that “the closer, the better” was a feasible dating strategy. Gleem advised the clean-freak in you that “Teeth aren’t white until they gleam”. And, of course, everybody knew that “Ultra Brite gets you noticed”. Well, so did bad breath, but in a different kind of way.

It all came down to fighting tooth decay, a dental disease that attacks the hard enamel of our teeth. The decay is caused by the accumulation and deposit of a bacterial film called plaque on the surface of the tooth. The bacteria then produce acids which attack and dissolve the hard enamel. When the teeth are thus weakened, cavities are formed, which then lead to a host of dental problems and eventually gum disease. Good brushing technique can reduce much of the plaque, but cannot completely eliminate it.

In 1945, the American government decided to introduce fluoridation of public water as a health policy. As a result, today 67 per cent of US communities now have public fluoridation of their water systems. Indeed, fluoridation is considered one of the ten greatest public health interventions of the 20 th century.

However, not everybody is on board the fluoridation bus. Several countries, including Sweden, have banned the imposition of fluoridation on public drinking water. Two of the more popular objections are that fluorides are drugs and they are being foisted on people whether they want them or not. In addition, because there is no way of controlling how much water people consume, the dosage of fluorides is also undetermined.

Two of the main sources of fluorides are derived from the phosphate fertilizer industry. These chemicals, hydrogen fluoride and silicon tetrafluoride, are deemed serious pollutants if they are released into the atmosphere or rivers and lakes. However, we seem to be very accepting if these chemicals are used in our drinking water systems through the process of fluoridation.

Other objections to the practice of fluoridation include contamination of the fluoride chemicals by hazardous substances, in particular by poisonous arsenic. In addition, silicofluorides tend to leach lead out of pipes and deposit the element into human bodies where it can cause serious effects such as lowered IQs and asthma. Tooth decay or not, nobody wants to be an unwilling guinea pig for a scientific intervention with outcomes that are still nebulous.

Fluorides are composed mainly of fluorine, the thirteenth most abundant element in the earth’s crust. The fluoride compounds are released into the environment mostly through water and air. We can also access fluorine through the bones and shells of sea creatures such as crabs and other crustaceans. Although it would probably do the job, it is not recommended to brush one’s teeth with crushed clam shells. That would give a whole new meaning to “red tide” as the resulting color would originate from the massive bleeding inside the mouth.

If you don’t act in time to prevent tooth decay, the resulting dental work can get expensive. What may start off as fillings to protect the damaged teeth can eventually lead to root canal work where your teeth become virtual zombies in your mouth. They may look quite normal, but have had their nerves detached and can no longer feel pain or practically most anything else. If the root canal surgery fails, you can really deplete your bank account by opting for the “king’s ransom” solutions such as bridges, crowns, and implants. If all goes well, the good news is that you will be able to chew real food again. The bad news is that you will no longer be able to afford food of any kind.

If dental surgery is not the route you want to go, you might want to consider extractions or just plain pulling out your diseased tooth. You can try the old fashioned methods like using pliers or attaching a string to your loose tooth and tying the other end to a door knob. When the door is pulled open, you should find that your tooth has been detached (unless you tied the string to the wrong tooth in which case you will need a new door). Your other choice is to have your dentist do the extraction with the help of a dental assistant, needles, x-rays, painkillers, pliers, but no door. You will find that you will be paying through the nose for this service to the mouth. In addition, if you lose a number of your teeth in a short period of time, you will find yourself being sued by the tooth fairy for non-support, and possibly have your mouth foreclosed. If you do pay up, on the other hand, the tooth fairy will probably be pushed up a tax bracket or two.

While you are in the dentist’s office considering the various possibilities for saving your teeth from decay, you may find that you are being swayed to do something about how crooked your teeth are. You may be told that you need braces to straighten things out so that your smile does not reveal a random array of chicklets. The metal braces do work but they will cause you embarrassing moments at airport security as well as triggering eardrum piercing sirens when undergoing MRI imaging.

How does fluoridation affect the taste of tap water? Although some people claim they can hardly distinguish the flavor of fluoridated water from bottled water, others complain that water which has been treated with fluorides tastes like sticking a straw into the shallow end of your swimming pool and taking a deep sip. Sounds horrible, but still not as bad as those who compare the sensation to gargling with the bubbly water in your hot tub.

Strange as it may seem, there is a race going on between the corporate world promoting the use of fluorides, Big Fluoride, and the mega corporations, Big Sugar, pushing sweeteners at the public. The contest seems to try to determine who can threaten the health of the general public more quickly. On the one hand, sweetened foods such as soft drinks are being pedaled as the “real thing” to improve the quality of life. On the other hand, we are assured that fluorides in toothpaste will protect our health from those very same dangers. Ironically, the Unilever Corporation had figured out to play both sides against each other. Not only does Unilever produce Pepsodent and Close Up toothpaste, but until very recently, it was also responsible for giving us Good Humor and Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.

So, have you become convinced that despite all the questions surrounding the safety of fluoridation of our drinking water as a wholesale panacea to battle oral disease and tooth decay, it is still worth it in order to protect those lovely smiles we so intensely desire? Or if by banning fluoridation as a public policy, will we really care where the yellow went as long as it didn’t take our good health away?