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9 Things I Wish I Knew About Sex When I First Started Having It

I cringe when I think back to some of the sex I had as a teenager. There are a lot of reasons why it's so uncomfortable to remember — partly because it was so damn awkward a lot of the time and partly because a lot of the sex I had then was, frankly, terrible. But I didn't realize I could ask for more. Talking about your sex life, talking about your needs, and, even worse, talking about things you don't like — that all seemed scary as hell.

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Featured

 The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex

The physical, cognitive and psychological impacts of sexual choking are disturbing. So is the idea that at a time when women’s social, economic, educational and political power are in ascent (even if some of those rights may be in jeopardy), when #MeToo has made progress against harassment and assault, there has been the popularization of a sex act that can damage our brains, impair intellectual functioning, undermine mental health, even kill us.

Articles of Interest

What teens really want to know about sex

On the first day of the high school Sexuality and Society class that I teach, I don’t pass around anatomy drawings or hand out pamphlets about safer sex — although those are stacked on a table near the door. Instead, the first thing I do is establish ground rules in the classroom: People should speak for themselves, laughter is OK, we won’t ask “personal history” questions, and we’ll work to create a community of peers who care about and respect one another. Then, I introduce the Question Box

Are teenagers having less sex – and is social media the reason why?

Rates of pregnancy are plummeting among young people. Can we conclude teenagers are getting their kicks in different ways?

From ‘sneaky links’ to ‘situationships,’ here’s how Gen Z is redefining sex

For teens today, the conversation about sexuality is moving from a binary situation to a spectrum and so are the kinds of sex people are having. And while the vocabulary around sex is shifting, the main question on the CDC survey has been worded the same way since the government agency began its biannual study in 1991: Have you “ever had sexual intercourse?” “Honestly, that question is a little laughable,” says Kay, 18, who identifies as queer and attends a public high school near Lansing, Michigan. “There’s probably a lot of teenagers who are like, ‘No, I’ve never had sexual intercourse, but I’ve had other kinds of sex.’”

How do we talk to teens about sex in a world of porn?

Teenage boys’ easy access to violent sexual images is creating a crisis for them – and for women, argues the anti-porn campaigner. Online pornography has become the primary form of sex education for young people, and the average age for kids to start accessing it is 11. Porn sites get more visits each month than Amazon, Twitter and Netflix combined.

I Constantly Talk About Safe Sex With My Teen. I Have One More Idea but Worry It’s a Step Too Far.

I’ve recently learned that my 16-year-old son is sexually active with his 15-year-old girlfriend. This has led to many, many, MANY conversations about protection and consent and just being safe all around. I’m still very nervous about this—I have to remind him multiple times to brush his teeth at night, so I’m not overly confident that he will always remember to practice safe sex. Aside from constant conversations about it, I’m not sure what to do.

I’m worried my mom will be disappointed I had sex with my boyfriend

You’re not alone here. For the record, no matter how old we are, there’s always a part of us that craves Mom’s approval. Just saying.

More teens are using contraception the first time they have sex

Teen abstinence isn’t becoming any more popular, but more teens are using contraception the first time they have sex, according to a new report published Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The report found that 42 percent of teen girls and 44 percent of teen boys have had sex. Those numbers have stayed steady over the past 15 years. But as the teen birth rate continues to tumble, the way teens choose to use contraception has changed.

Teen sex under my roof?! No/Yes/Maybe

There are enough Parent Police out there judging the way other folks raise their kids and I’m not going to join the squad. How you, as a parent, educate your children about sex is a personal decision. But, the reality is; older teens will be doing it.

What Everyone Gets Wrong About Gen Z and the Sex It’s Allegedly Not Having

Gen Z is not having sex—it’s filled with “puriteens.” Or maybe the rising generation is just thinking about sex the wrong way, or having the wrong kind of sex. The breathless headlines and speculation brought on by research that shows some people born after 1996 may be having less sex than their elder counterparts are reminiscent of previous panics about teen sexuality.

What Teens Really Say About Sex, Drugs And Sadness

"Fewer are initiating sex," Ethier says, "fewer are currently sexually active, they're having fewer partners, and they're using more effective hormonal birth control methods."

Why Teenagers Mix Drinking and Sex

Anxiety is often a factor. Parents can remind teenagers that their nervousness not only is normal, but also can serve as a warning to help keep them safe.

Why Today's Teens Are Having So Much Less Sex

Young people in America and other Western countries are having less sex than young people used to. Courtship and sexual changes frequently accompany disruptive technologies. Social media and smartphones have changed the way people communicate.

‘Just say no’ doesn’t work for teen sex and drug use, so why rely on it for young driver education?

Human behaviour is complex. And yet approaches to road safety education are commonly far too simple, especially for young drivers. They are not only inexperienced but also biologically wired to be among those most at risk of crashing. It is time to explore a new, more proactive approach to driver education.

Resources

10 Things Your Teen Should Know about Sex and Sexuality

Sex can be an intimidating topic for a lot of teenagers. It can even be an intimidating topic for a lot of parents of teenagers. Our schools usually incorporate some sort of sex education in their curriculum (inclusive and comprehensive or not). More often than not though, sex education only covers the basics like the biology of the reproductive system and what condoms are rather than education around the experiences of sexuality. I could probably make a list a mile long addressing sex education questions, but in the meantime, here are 10 of the things your teen should know about sex and sexuality:

5 Facts About Teen Sex Today

Adults have viewed teenagers' sex lives with panic — and a dash of prurience — for generations. Where they're doing it, how they're doing it, and how often has been a public health concern in years past, but according to a new CDC survey about the sexual activity of teens, there's a lot less for grown-ups to worry about today. When compared with their counterparts in the 1990s, the newly named "cautious generation" is statistically more interested in screen time than sex time. This is hardly surprising, given that three-quarters of teens have access to a smartphone, and 24 percent report being online "almost constantly."

6 Things This Teenage Virgin Gets Wrong About Sex

I’m more than a little obsessed with Phin Lyman, the 18-year-old British boy who broadcasted to his boarding school (and coincidentally, the world) that he is a virgin and his peers should be, too. In a piece he wrote for his school newspaper, Lyman insists that teens should wait for “true love” before having sex. Sex outside of a loving relationship, he posits, will only bring regret and shame and sadness.